"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God."
According to the holy book, this is what Jesus said to his confused disciples while preparing them for Armageddon. The end of the world apparently got postponed, which made the early Christians even more confused. Despite God being able to create the universe with all it's fine-tuning, clear communication does not seem to be his most exceptional skill.
Ever since that rainy Friday afternoon, it has been debated whether Jesus words should be taken literally or metaphorically. Was the son of God talking about an actual eye of a needle which would make it impossible for a rich man to get into heaven? Or, did he mean the gate in Jerusalem allegedly called "the Eye of a Needle," which was very narrow for a camel to pass, but not impossible?
Believe it or not, when you go from being a Finnish History teacher to a professional skydiver, some small adjustments have to be made. One of the challenges is adapting to the free market economy. As a teacher, I got a guaranteed salary regardless of how well I did my job. A teacher can give his heart and soul to his students, and still be paid the same as his colleague, who is always hungover and watches cat videos for the whole semester. Sometimes the best way to satisfy your "customers" is to do nothing. Skydivers will be less delighted by the phrase: "Let's quit a bit earlier today, and you don't have to show up tomorrow either."
There are basically two stereotypes of skydivers who ask for coaching. Those who Feel the Burn and are ready to make a substantial economic sacrifice to improve their skills, and then the wealthy individuals who do it because they can. Interestingly enough, based on my experience, it is the latter who are more inclined to moan about the price.
Not too long ago, the time had come to settle the payment with one of my wealthy customers. He had booked me for three days, which basically meant that I had been his bitch from dawn till dusk. I had given him special treatment, broken some rules, and increased the risk of injuring myself. Unfortunately, I had still not been able to provide the full experience we had hoped for.
One of the problematic concepts when it comes to skydiving is that sometimes, you just can't produce the service due to reasons beyond your control. If the weather is terrible, the customer might not get all the intended jumps, but the coach has given all of his time. Due to some low clouds, strong winds, and a 30-minute skype meeting, I made the mistake to reduce the already negotiated price with 20%. But apparently it wasn't enough, as a businessman, my customer saw an opportunity and squeezed the amount even further. Fair enough; in a market economy, few things are set in stone.
An hour later, he showed up with several 100€ bills, it made me smile; such a gangster! He had been joking, I assumed naively, and now he intended to show off with his money. Perhaps I would even get a tip for keeping his group safe? He counted the bills as he put them into my hands. When he was halfway through his stash, he put the rest in his pocket and informed me that I would get the remaining 50€ later. It never seizes to fascinate me when rich men throw their weight around.
Everyone is, of course, free to do whatever they want with their money. I count my blessings that I am in the fortunate position to also be able to choose my customers. As I snickered over his avariciousness, it suddenly dawned on me that few of us are without sin concerning this matter. Many of us are cheap arrogant bastards, eager to trip on the money infused power rush when we have the chance. We easily forget ourselves when we look down the food chain and get overly righteous when we look up, especially if we are the ones taking the beating.
We gladly give an extra coin to the homeless man on the street or someone else in need. If that hot blond señorita is watching, we are even more prone to be charitable. If she is ignoring us, we twist and turn to make sure she notices our generosity. We are often generous because it makes us feel good and needed; who doesn't want to come out as the savior? Showing our aptitude makes us feel powerful. It takes some self-control to do the right thing when no one is watching. It takes some proper Jedi skills to remain silent and take our good deeds to the grave.
On the flip side of the coin when we buy something from the foreigner who is selling apples on the street, we have the tendency to bicker about the price. We bargain for a few, to us worthless coins, hoping to make a better deal. Why pay full price? That darn immigrant is probably trying to trick us! Why is it so hard for us not to be a douche bag when we hold a strong hand?
I hope that the next time I pass a street vendor, I will pay what he requires and maybe even forget to ask for the change. The multinational corporation next door can most likely give me a better deal, but I'm sure the street vendor has a more urgent need for the profit. This is what is called charity with dignity.
I hope I will remember to practice what I preach. Maybe my newly found rectitude will make it possible for me to thrust through that eye of the needle. Perhaps the Lord all Mighty will reward me with a place in his Kingdom? However, until that schizophrenic misogynistic and bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser improves his communication skills, I will decline his invitation and instead start cruising down the highway to hell. But that is another story.
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